Saturday, June 11, 2011

Burning Bridges

As responsible and on top of things as I like to believe I am, its starting to become clear that a bit of a pattern is emerging. I do great work for an organization for years, develop a great reputation, and then, right before I am about to leave, something happens to tarnish or destroy that reputation. Its happened in work related situations twice, and twice, I believe, in spiritual community situations. The spiritual community ones were probably not that serious (in both cases I decided to leave and folks took issue with it) but the job related ones are giving me grief.

I think that one of the main reasons that I am so upset is because I don't want this to be the story of my life. I want to be professional when leaving for greener pastures, but sometimes life throws you curve balls. One of my issues is that I tend to pile a lot of stuff on my plate, become overwhelmed, and then am unable to complete it all. I really have to consider what needs to change in my life, especially as I embark on this new career.

In the wider scheme of things, I hit most of my targets, but I failed in one. So I don't feel unsuccessful or really bad about the situation in that sense. I suppose I should feel a little upset because the work I was doing was really important and contributed to a very important project. But I am trying to provide the organization with as much as possible, while realizing and admitting that I missed the mark. I am trying to be honest with people and apologetic, but again, sometimes things don't turn out perfectly, and people get disappointed.

As I move on to my new career, I want to be mindful of my weaknesses and to really think about how I can overcome this shortcoming of mine. I also want to consider this when interacting with others; perhaps I will be the one disappointed by someone's shortcomings; this experience can help me to be more empathetic to their situation.

In the end, this does not make me a bad person. I just was unable to complete a project and ended up disappointing and embarrassing people who had faith in me. Lesson learned.

On purpose,


Thursday, June 9, 2011

Reset and Why I Now Love Starbucks

Okay. I was all repped up and ready to go on this blog, but then....the clusterbang called life happened and I just abandoned it. Aww, well....Cest la vie!

Anyway, I did manage to get ALL of my goals, well at least most of them, accomplished in the last few months. I finished writing my dissertation, successfully defended it, and graduated...yup, I am Dr. Mae now!!! I also made it through the grueling PMF process and not only became a finalist (meaning I was accepted into the program) but I also got a job assignment!!! I am leaving my field of education (which, honestly, I wanted to do) and am entering the exciting world of public health! I also am in the process of re-locating to the D.C. area and I am very excited (this place is so beautiful and full of history, art, nature, and all types of things that a nerd like me gets giddy over).

I was not so successful in the health and fitness arena. I gained quite a bit of weight over the past school year (being glued to a computer while writing a BOOK will do that to you, if you let it) so I am in the process of resetting my Best.Body.Ever. year. My new apartment is right next door to the fitness center (one of two in my "swanky" apartment complex) and the community is chock full of walkable and runnable paths and hills, in addition to numerous parks. Plus, I joined Weight Watchers online (got tired of hating on Jennifer Hudson and decided to just join and DO THIS!!!!) so things are set up for me to succeed. I know that I am really good at accomplishing my goals, so I just need to apply the determination that allowed me to attain my academic and career goals to this Best.Body.Ever. I'll do it!!!

So now I wanna get back to this blog. Over the months I have thought of so much that I wanted to put here but I just did not have the energy. Reset. I am ready now. I also plan on starting a religious/spiritual blog (more on that once its launched) and also adding some career related resources to my professional website (I probably won't link it here, but if someone wants to get access to it, you can holla at me). So here's to being committed to this!!!

Now, on to Starbucks. Starbucks has played a pretty big role in my life over the past few weeks. I have traveled from MI to MD and back twice in the past 30 days (I am actually en route to MI and blogging from Starbucks now). This place has been a lifesaver! The Frappuccinos have kept me awake as I've driven solo. And now, as I sit in a downtown Pittsburgh Starbucks awaiting my connecting Megabus to MI (I left Eve, my car, back in MD...she could only make the trip one way, old girl) Starbucks has given me refuge, a clean bathroom, and wifi! I used to hate on Starbucks mainly because I associated it with an ex (and now, unfortunately, deceased) boyfriend who used to like to sit in Starbucks and stunt like he was some type of entrepreneur when in fact he was a broke guy who foolishly quit his job and had an used car business (but no lot..or license to sell...or cars). He had wanted me to sell Eve, let him use the money to buy some used cars to then flip and then return me my money so that I could buy another car...I guess the seven grand I loaned him wasn't enough...okay so see why I hated Starbucks? But, I should not have held my poor relationship choices against the coffee shop. I now recognize the error of my ways and I appreciate all that Starbucks has done for me (even though these Frappuccinos are not helping me attain my health and fitness goals. Da well; no relationship is perfect).

On purpose,